Things I never shared publicly

It was early one morning when I encountered the Lord in a dream to show me the course of my life. As he did, what became prevalent was that he wanted to address some hidden truths I had never completely addressed. We often think that healing is a one-time occurrence, but if we are alive long enough, there will always be another level of restoration required.

The occurrence of the word healing was something I never wanted to associate myself with, but it became a focal point because of abuse. Having already addressed endured measures of emotional and mental abuse from loved ones in my childhood, I never realized how incomplete my perspective on this topic was.

Being violated in any way creates the opportunity for a cycle of other forms of abuse to join the party and I learnt that after I recognized I was experiencing abuse. I was desensitized to abusive patterns in my childhood which caused my adulthood relationships to suffer, as partners whom I had trusted also took to becoming agents of sexual abuse in my atmosphere.

 It was indeed the perfect storm meant to wreak havoc and perpetuate a pattern of destruction for my soul, and it almost worked. The reality was that experiencing years of emotional abuse from the first man I ever loved taught me that love looked like this. It looked like not walking out the attributes of love, yet accepting the meager words, “I love you!” despite the behavior that preceded.

 Therefore, the violation of my body meant nothing if I knew these men had loved me with their weightless words. As a result, I accepted molestation, often disguised as intimacy, and demeaning behaviors presented as off-guarded moments. Yes! abuse is a part of my story, but what God needed me to understand is that it is not who I am. Being silent about the fact that it happened to me only gave the enemy the impression that he held some kind of falsified power over me when Jesus had already come to set me free.

 No, I am not what I have been through. But I am a treasure, God’s Treasure. And guess what? You are too! I’ve said this all to say that sometimes, we endure unfair and challenging realities without understanding the power that lies in the stories we bear. 

Today, because of God’s goodness to understand and overcome, generational curses are being broken and women can be set free because of my testimony. Your pain is simply a seed of power if surrendered to God and used to bring deliverance to the life of another. The choice today is yours.

                            Written by Cherise Cave

                                          Barbados